I think scott just propositioned me for sex
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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