Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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