Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
