weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
