Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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