People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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