everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
