You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
3pm strippers are depressing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
