you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
