That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
