Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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