dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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