Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize