thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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