tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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