they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
