oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize