do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
