I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize