Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize