You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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