I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
