hell yes lets make some ravioli
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
