I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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