Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize