How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
