On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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