you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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