you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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