Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
