If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
