A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
