Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
