its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
