Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
