lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to make a zoo with you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
