This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
either way he was missing a nipple.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
