Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
