Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
