so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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