they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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