i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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