I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
