I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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