I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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