Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize