Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
