dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
