Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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