smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Green mimosas i think yes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You need Xanax blowdarts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
