i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
