ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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