Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
