dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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