I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
