sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
