1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
