I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
