I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
