P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
