I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
