Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
