There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
