seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this will be a night to untag.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You made out with two different species that night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize