I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
