It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
vagina is talking i cant
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
