I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
